Friday, October 26, 2007

Suddenly, It All Makes Sense

I woke up with a crushing headache at 2:30 a.m. and promptly threw some high-quality pharmaceuticals at it. One of the benefits of being chronically ill is having a rather well-stocked medicine cabinet. My assault was apparently lacking because by the time I was supposed to get up for work, my head was immovable. More pharmaceuticals and by 10:00 a.m., I feel up to getting out of bed.

I manage to get myself showered, fed and off to work. But, I have this thick fog around me. I feel hazy and trying to focus my thoughts makes me want to put my head down and sleep. If I direct my thoughts down one path, I inevitably end up veering helplessly off and tumbling down onto another before I realize it. Suddenly, I'm lost and need to clamber back up to my original thought. It's work. And, sometimes embarrassing.

I also feel a bit like I could be getting a touch of the flu. A bit achy and rundown. Yeah, the weather is dreary and cool. But, really. What's my deal?

Ah, yes. I've begun chemo again. So quickly I forgot how poorly you make me feel old friend. How did that happen? Never you mind. Just go ahead and do your work. I know you can't help what you are. I'll try and figure out how I am going to put up with you again. No hard feelings. Just some pretty miserable ones.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm really sorry it's making you feel so bad, Tracy. On the other hand, I get an evil smile just thinking about what the chemo is doing to all those little bas#&#d cancer cells. Hang in there......... A.J.

Anonymous said...

I was thinkin the H/A was those cells in the head blasting away to nothing.

Love ya, Mom