Friday, October 26, 2007

Suddenly, It All Makes Sense

I woke up with a crushing headache at 2:30 a.m. and promptly threw some high-quality pharmaceuticals at it. One of the benefits of being chronically ill is having a rather well-stocked medicine cabinet. My assault was apparently lacking because by the time I was supposed to get up for work, my head was immovable. More pharmaceuticals and by 10:00 a.m., I feel up to getting out of bed.

I manage to get myself showered, fed and off to work. But, I have this thick fog around me. I feel hazy and trying to focus my thoughts makes me want to put my head down and sleep. If I direct my thoughts down one path, I inevitably end up veering helplessly off and tumbling down onto another before I realize it. Suddenly, I'm lost and need to clamber back up to my original thought. It's work. And, sometimes embarrassing.

I also feel a bit like I could be getting a touch of the flu. A bit achy and rundown. Yeah, the weather is dreary and cool. But, really. What's my deal?

Ah, yes. I've begun chemo again. So quickly I forgot how poorly you make me feel old friend. How did that happen? Never you mind. Just go ahead and do your work. I know you can't help what you are. I'll try and figure out how I am going to put up with you again. No hard feelings. Just some pretty miserable ones.


Anonymous said...

I'm really sorry it's making you feel so bad, Tracy. On the other hand, I get an evil smile just thinking about what the chemo is doing to all those little bas#&#d cancer cells. Hang in there......... A.J.

Anonymous said...

I was thinkin the H/A was those cells in the head blasting away to nothing.

Love ya, Mom