"Tracy seems like a bright girl, but she's totally sophomoric."
Now for some context. As I attempted to lay as still as I possibly could in the bone scan machine last Thursday, with the scanner mere centimeters from my face and chest, I had just one word in my head: asshat.
Questions you may have at this point include:
- Why is the only thing in your head the word "asshat?"
- What, exactly, is an "asshat?"
Because earlier in the day, while my sister Jamie was calling me one via IM, Dear Friend was looking it up for me on urbandictionary.com:
A close cousin of the ass-clown, typically identified by a jovial expression and an outward misunderstanding of how he/she is perceived, combined with a generally misguided conception of what is sociably acceptable amongst his/her fellow peers. Said persons' frequent attempts at humor usually lead to he/she making an ass out of his/herself. Not to be confused with ass-hole.
"Quit throwing pennies at that homeless man, you asshat."
"Hey asshat, thanks for double parking."
The bone scan takes twenty minutes. I thought for sure the image was going to come back with a huge blurry mess where my head and chest are supposed to be. You've no idea the ginormous quantity of restraint that was exercised to wrestle my brain to more mundane thoughts.