Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Out of Sorts

There is no rhythm to my life. Very few things seem consistent enough to be counted on. With big projects getting out of the way and my must-do list pared down significantly, space has been cleared in my head that is quickly being filled with anxious thoughts. I have all day to myself with nowhere to be. But I have no motivation to tackle even the smallest thing that needs my attention: laundry, groceries. I am afraid I won't be able to complete everything I want to and yet, I am afraid to complete things for fear that I will be done.

I am down to 5 mg of prednisone but I continue to gain weight. It's perplexing and frustrating. My platelets were 66 yesterday, which is not good, but I had chemo last week and a drop was expected. So, we will see how they come back up this week. I am meeting with a new doctor tomorrow. She is about 15 minutes from my house. I am hoping it works out this time.


Anonymous said...

Isn't is nice that the people and "things" that count, however, are consistent.

Shayne Bell said...

Hi Tracy,

We've never met yet, but my mom, Cherie, is married to your Uncle Randy. She finally remembered to send me your blog, so I look forward to keeping up with your life from afar.

I hope you can still make it to YSC! I'm bummed that I can't go with Y-ME this year, but I have to be traveling elsewhere for them. Have a great time and enjoy the weather!


Anonymous said...

Hang in there sista! And...."just keep swimming, just keep swimming, what do we do, we're swimming....swimming"


Jamie said...

Tough times never last but tough people do!

Now get to the gym!!!!

love, love, love!!