There is no rhythm to my life. Very few things seem consistent enough to be counted on. With big projects getting out of the way and my must-do list pared down significantly, space has been cleared in my head that is quickly being filled with anxious thoughts. I have all day to myself with nowhere to be. But I have no motivation to tackle even the smallest thing that needs my attention: laundry, groceries. I am afraid I won't be able to complete everything I want to and yet, I am afraid to complete things for fear that I will be done.
I am down to 5 mg of prednisone but I continue to gain weight. It's perplexing and frustrating. My platelets were 66 yesterday, which is not good, but I had chemo last week and a drop was expected. So, we will see how they come back up this week. I am meeting with a new doctor tomorrow. She is about 15 minutes from my house. I am hoping it works out this time.