Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I'm Not Dead Yet

While the initial news I got from my scans had me feeling encouraged, a thorough read through of the reports myself, combined with the way I've been feeling lately (bronchitis, right, that's ALL it is) shows that the disease while:
  • non-evident in my bones and liver,
  • regressing in my brain -- with no new involvement,
  • regressing around my collar bone where I had CyberKnife,
  • previously identified met in left lung is stable,
  • and effusions in my lungs are regressing --
the nodes in my chest we have been watching have apparently had a growth spurt. To the point where my airway is being restricted, and I feel I am being asphyxiated. I can't handle more than a few steps before gasping for air and going into a coughing fit. It is beyond frustrating, and might I add, f-ing scary when it feels as if someone is smothering you.

I ran up to My Oncologist yesterday, he sent me to a specialist in tomotherapy today, and I start a 15-day course of treatment to some highly irritating nodes tomorrow. Unbelievable! I am thrilled (but still terribly winded) and so blessed to have this physician on my side. He knows me so well and the depth of my commitment to this fight. So while My Love and I drove home from the tomotherapy center, all I could do is smile and think of this (which you can jump 45 seconds into to finally get to the meat):


Anonymous said...

How did u think of that. I love you. Be strong as u always have been. Love aunt Lori

Anonymous said...

Thoughts, prayers and hugs coming your way. You are an amazing fighter with tons of determination. Might I add, you also have a very unique perspective on all of this. I love you. Katie

Anonymous said...

God, I wish I could take credit for your originality and sense of humor.

Love ya , Mom

Anonymous said...

Don't let your Mom kid you, she does have a sense of humor akin to Monty Python (I have always thought that was a funny clip). Ask her if she wants me to feed her when she's sick and what she said to me right after I gave Grampa ice cream!
Thank God you take control of your treatment and test results and you and your Doc are a such a team. Now you go, Girl, and kick those bad cells asses! L'Y, AJ

Jamie said...

You have a very dark and sick sense of humor Marla!! I LOVE IT!! Hee!
Keep on Keep'n on and know that you've still got loads of fight in you!
Love, love, love!

Liz said...

Well, I can't see the video from work, but I can guess at it from the title of your post. I'm sorry the scans were not as positive as their first impression, but so very glad you and your physician are in this together and willing to fight it all the way. I'm thinking of you, girlie.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tracy,

I saw your post come across through Google alerts.

I work in the marketing department at TomoTherapy in Madison, WI.

I just want you to know that our team read about you and are thinking of you as you undergo treatment.

I also wanted to share with you that we have had the privelege of knowing two other amazing women stage IV breast cancer survivors, whose doctors did not want to treat them. Being their own advocates, they sought out other treatment options (second and third opinions), and ultimately were treated with TomoTherapy.

The first is Andrea, who is featured on our website at

The other is Pam, who will be featured in another upcoming patient profile.

If you'd like more information, please feel free to email me at

All the very best to you and your family,


kb said...

Sending some major kick-ass vibes your way. Glad to hear the positives. Hope the breathing gets easier. Rock on Tracy.

Maureen said...

OK Tracy Pleva Hill,
Let me first thank you for nearly driving me to the brink of incontinence!! That tops the dog named Teddy!! I guess you can thank Moma for your wit. You should hear what she mutters under her breath during a typical 12 hour shift!
Well Lady Python let me know when we can get the Kid and the Boy together? In the meantime let's get your stand up routine off the ground!!

Nic said...

OMG! You totally need a coffee spit warning, girl. I love that movie and quote it frequently. I am sure you have only experienced "flesh wounds" as well. I love you and think of you so very often!


Anonymous said...

I should've known you were a Python fan! Be strong dear.
Mwah! Suzanne

Anonymous said...

Dear Amazing Tracy,

I am in hysterics. That video is soooo funny. I wanted to hit that guy over the head too. But you, I want to hug and give all my energy and love to. You will never know how much we all adore you! You are an amazing gift from God and I just don't get to hear from you enough. I wish I could spy on you to see what's going on, but not bother you to ask for updates. Lots of love, Joy

Anonymous said...

T, you are in my thoughts dear. Stay strong.