Thursday, April 3, 2008

Oh, Yes! Yes! Yes! Wait... No, No, No, NO!!!

Sometimes the discoveries in cancer research can be so great and hopeful. And fun to manipulate in my mind. You know, bend it to fit my personal experience. Like this news about one of my favoritist antioxidants. I've been conducting my own unscientific, protocol-less, uncontrolled, completely unblinded and absolutely anecdotal study of red wine and its effects on chemotherapy for YEARS. My carefully evaluated findings clearly show that red wine totally enhances the effects of chemotherapy leading to longer term survival. However, if Dr. Okunieff manages to get funded for additional studies of red wine and its fabulous ingredient, resveratrol, I will be first in line to participate in his trial. That's right; I have no problem sacrificing myself in the name of scientific discovery. I'm that selfless.

But, wait! There is also
this. Is the treatment for my disease not cruel and grueling enough? Does it not sufficiently deprive and detract from my existence? I've surrendered my thick and shiny hair (multiple times, I remind you), my manicured and well-kept finger and toe nails, my self-defining energy, my rather hot bod (shut up, you), and occasionally the contents of my stomach to fight this disease. But, fast for two days before treatment? Now you go too far, cancer! You go way. too. far.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to scarf down some french fries and red wine. Oh, and chocolate. Can't forget the chocolate.


Jamie said...

Damn you cancer!!! It didn’t just cross the line it took a running leap over it! Well I have a massive stock of wine from Dad's wine cellar and tons of chocolate, left over from Easter so I have you covered in those areas.

You truly are a selfless girl. How very noble of you to offer yourself up for that study. You are such an inspiration to us all!!

BTW.... Hot Bod you say? Yup, you're Hot Bod. 'Scuse me for a sec I can't breathe....

love, love, love!!!

Anonymous said...

Okay, you've determined it's red wine, but now you need to find out what BRAND of red wine. I think you should try them all.

Wait! You already have! I forgot. Well, start over and this time take notes.

And, by the way, yes, yes, you have a very nice figure, but you still can't dance. (oh yes, I went there.)

xo L

Anonymous said...

keep that spirit of selflessness and adventure. You're an "inspiration" to others to sacrifice yourself for the cause.


Anonymous said...

I'm willing to commute from here to help you open bottles of wine! I agree with Jamie, you're a hot bod! I'm quite jealous of it! Remember, I offered some of my fat for an early surgery! ;)

K (mom2D&K)

a bit irish said...

I say we could all have a marathon drinking wine for a good cause.. works for me anyhow!

Nothing like a good friend and a glass of wine.. oh yeah.. I believe thats a song..