I am remembering Dee.
And Dona.
And Shannon, and Mary, and Lisa, and Barbara, and Donna, and Christine, and Angela and Hope and my grandmother, and I'm going to stop making this f-ing list right now.
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Just One Person Trying to Figure Out Life with Metastatic Breast Cancer
Defying advanced breast cancer on a daily basis.
Just One Person Trying to Figure Out Life with Metastatic Breast Cancer
About Me
My name is Tracy Pleva Hill and I was diagnosed with Stage IIb, triple negative breast cancer at the age of 32 in 2000. Ten months after completing chemotherapy in early 2001, I discovered that my disease had progressed to Stage IV. I have since spent seven years being infused with chemotherapeutics to manage my disease.
I have a beloved, beleaguered, adored husband who valiantly remains my most insistent supporter despite all the challenges and hardship breast cancer has brought us. (“In sickness and in health” – who saw this coming?) I also have an nine-year-old son who has never known me as anyone but a person living with cancer. So, I love my husband, raise my son, work full-time and run my home. Only, there is always the cancer.
I have a hard time remembering what I was like before breast cancer horned in on my unremarkable but happy life. It shapes me in unfamiliar ways. Living with Stage IV (advanced) breast cancer elevates the game. It means knowing that your cancer is never going to leave you and that you are going to be on some form of medication for as long as your body can withstand it or until the cancer overwhelms it.
I intend to make this f-ing disease work for every little bit it tries to take from me.
I have a beloved, beleaguered, adored husband who valiantly remains my most insistent supporter despite all the challenges and hardship breast cancer has brought us. (“In sickness and in health” – who saw this coming?) I also have an nine-year-old son who has never known me as anyone but a person living with cancer. So, I love my husband, raise my son, work full-time and run my home. Only, there is always the cancer.
I have a hard time remembering what I was like before breast cancer horned in on my unremarkable but happy life. It shapes me in unfamiliar ways. Living with Stage IV (advanced) breast cancer elevates the game. It means knowing that your cancer is never going to leave you and that you are going to be on some form of medication for as long as your body can withstand it or until the cancer overwhelms it.
I intend to make this f-ing disease work for every little bit it tries to take from me.
5 comments:
This post makes me weep.
This list makes me weep.
But, no list will take away my HOPE.
I am strong in my hope and BELIEF that you will dance at your son's wedding. That you will know the joy of having your grandchildren hug you.
I know this to be true. I know you.
I'm so sorry for Dona's boys and Dee's girls. I can't imagine their husband's sorrow.
How lucky you are to have known such fabulous women.
love you, always
L
Hi Tracy...Was just stopping by to check on you and am sorry to hear about the loss of your friends. That they fought until the end gives me strenth. Like Liza said, it doesn't take away my hope. Sorry the chemo is kicking your butt a little, but you keep on kicking butt, girl.
XOXOX Kelley
Hi Tracy. Dee was indeed a wonderful woman and her loss hit me really hard. At her service her Mum and her family spoke of how much being such a big part of Amazon Heart meant to Dee. I know that Dee loved meeting the other riders and drew strength from her contact with you and all her other 'girls'.
Dee and all our other angel riders will be with us always. I draw strength from that.
Lots of love to you, sweet Tracy. You show this disease who's boss and keep on kicking ass.
Be well petal.
Karina
I was hoping that "remembering" didn't mean what I thought it meant. I'm sorry Tracy.
I remember my list everyday and remember my reasons for making today count. Karen Seeman are coming to see you today around 10:30/11 am. Bringing you some fun stuff. Glad to see you typing and thinking and growing stronger.
See you soon,
Joy Simha
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