Almost Tuesday

Tracy has a great bunch of friends from a message board she joined around the time Jason was born. Many of them have been supporting her since the day she was diagnosed so I filled them in last week about what's goin on tomorrow. I'm going to post it here as well because I'm really lazy today and want to think about it as little as possible.

Here goes:

Hello everyone,

I’m sorry this is such a belated thank you. I had every intention of sending out notes a long time ago but things have been way too insane on our end. I even made up a list of all the people I had to thank and guess what, I lost the list! Kim sent me a login so I’ll just post for now. I didn’t realize that there were two boards so hopefully this will get to everyone.

We REALLY do appreciate what you all are doing for us and everything that comes our way goes straight to the hospital for Tracy to see. Your names always put a smile on her face and I’m so hoping she can thank you all personally one of these days. The gift cards have come in very handy and the “circle of friends” candle is on our mantle where I can see it every night. I would have left it here but this room is more like a closet than a hospital room and its days would surely be numbered. The cards and notes however are all over the walls and windows. I haven’t started the book that Sue sent yet but I will soon. I’m trying to make it through “The Last Lecture” right now. It’s a tough read these days but I can’t seem to stay away from it.

As far as Tracy goes, here’s the latest and you guys get the exclusive because I’m not ready to post this on her blog. I’ve put lot of stuff up there but I still keep quite a bit from the general public. The doctors think the cancer has gone to her lungs as “infiltrations” and it will harden them to the point where she won’t be able to breathe even with the respirator. The key word here is “think” and I’m hoping she can prove them wrong like she’s done so many times before. She also has a new brain tumor and I don’t know much about it right now. I’m going to stick my head in the sand and ignore it for the time being. I can only deal with so many things and her lungs take precedence. We convinced the surgeon to biopsy her this Tuesday so we’ll know for sure where we stand. Until then its lots more waiting and wondering. This not the way I saw this playing out but I’ve learned a long time ago that I was merely a pawn in all of this. I’m all about diving right in to fix something but I can’t do anything, I never could. I’m a control freak and my hands have essentially been tied for 8 years. So, we’ll wait a little more and try to hold out hope. I know you’ll all be there pulling for us as well and It really does make it easier. No matter what happens, she didn’t go through it alone and we didn’t go through it alone.

Btw, Kim told me not be surprised if a bunch of women show up at Jason’s wedding someday to do the chicken dance. That almost brought tears to my eyes and Tracy was clearly moved when I told her yesterday.

I just read this to Tracy and I’m posting it with her approval.

Thank you all again,

Jeff